“Appreciate the woman who was there for you when you weren’t there for yourself. The one who loved you when you barely knew how to love her back. She’s the one God intended for you. Recognize that and don’t let her go”.…Tony Gaskins

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I am so conflicted by this quote. I am far from religious but I am spiritual and I do believe that God puts people in your life for a reason; how long they stay in your life is definitely up to you. People often ask me for advice. Now, I am in no way an expert on anything, but I’ve had enough experiences and friends with experiences to be able to give them a fair answer. When it comes to relationships, I very rarely tell someone to walk away. Everyone has their “bullshit limit” and it’s up to them to decide when they have reached it. I have a friend, for privacy reasons I’ll call her “Lisa”. “Lisa” is dating a guy who loves to socialize and has a very big personality. He is ambitious, handsome and loves “Lisa” with everything in him. But he is a habitual liar and couldn’t keep it in his pants to save his life!! Lisa’s guy showers her with gifts, takes her on trips and she knows all his close family and friends. Lisa is very conflicted because this guy is the man of her dreams despite his infidelity.

Growing up a lot of women are taught that as long as he is taking care of home you should not cause him any grief and you should stay with him. This of course varies between cultures, but that is a whole other topic. In reference to the quote above, how do you know if this is who God has really intended for you. Would God want you to be with someone who couldn’t be faithful? Should the fact that he takes care of all your other needs outweigh the fact that he has other women? My advice is to pray. Block out what anyone else has to say and really think about how you are feeling. Are you truly happy or are you painting a happy picture to mask the pain? No one wants a failed relationship under their belt, but you have to do what’s best for you. If you believe that this man can and will change then I’d say go for it. Our intuition is very powerful, listen to it. Don’t let what others may say influence your decision.

I’ve dealt with men and infidelities in most of my relationships. I’ve handled everyone of them differently, but I always made my decisions on my own. It takes a tough person to walk away and an even tougher person to stick it out. Think with your head as well as your heart and try not to make the same mistakes twice. It’s always best to nip bad habits in the bud when they first occur. Set boundaries and ask yourself have I reached my “bullshit limit”?