Since I was 16 years old, I’ve always been in a relationship. Before I ended one relationship, I was already moving on to another. Seems like as soon as things went wrong, someone else would come along promising to be different. At first during the honeymoon phase, they were different. As soon as things settled and I let my guard down, they pulled off the sheep costume and exposed themself as the wolf. I watched my parents stick it out thru thick and thin, so naturally I wanted to imitate what I knew. A woman is supposed to stick by her man no matter what. Well, at least that’s how I felt. Relationship after relationship, year after year I gave soooo much of myself trying to keep the relationship afloat, that I lost myself. I no longer knew who I was. I began to become whatever the man in my life needed me to be. I found myself doing things that I said I would never do, standing by things I should not even tolerate. All in the name of love. I watched and listened to men fill my head with their dreams and aspirations and I did my best to make sure that they came true. My dreams became theirs and my aspirations were to be the best that I could be for them. I thought that what a woman was supposed to do. If you ask any of my exes they will have a lot of opinions about me, but what they all have to agree is that I’m a good woman. After being single for over a year, I realized that I’m fully tapped out. I’ve given so much of myself to others that I have nothing left to give. As an adult who has experienced a lifetimes worth of pain and drama, I have to say that I take accountability for my actions and who I let in my life. I appreciate every one of my exes for teaching me that I need to focus on myself and not be so quick to let my guard down. My lesson to everyone else is to realize that not everyone is worth your energy and time. Be careful who you swap souls with. Some will use you and leave you with nothing left to give. At 38, I’m still learning. I’m far from perfect and yes I do still allow people to occupy time that they don’t deserve. I pray everyday for guidance and the strength to say NO. Finding time and energy for myself has been one of the hardest trials for me. I’m getting there slowly but surely. The hardest thing is figuring out who I really am and what my purpose is. With that said, I’m sorry Exes but I no longer wish to entertain you. I simply don’t have enough time.